New York: The City of NEVER GOING BACK pt. 3

When we last left off, I had just sprinted through a safari to try to make it to my flight on time. I ran up on the train panting out of breath and sweating like a hog. I looked at the lady next to me-composed, poised...she clearly has her shit together. So I ask her, "Hey, this train goes to Newark Airport right?" She stared into the depths of my soul and replied, "I'm sorry, I don't think so."

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, go ahead and check out part 1 and part 2 to get caught up on all of my shenanigans.

I looked at this woman with tears in my eyes, knowing I had limited time to catch my flight. I started freaking out internally. "Where is this train going?" "How am I going to make it home?" "What the hell is this life?"

As I was drowning in my invisible tears, the woman looked at me with the warmest smile and said, "Actually this does go to Newark Airport, I usually get off on the first stop so I wasn't sure." I smiled and thanked her for checking. I was so grateful man, this woman just took me to hell and brought me back. I'm not gonna lie, I was tainted with a bit of anger. "BITCHHHH WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST TELL ME YOU DIDN'T KNOW! YOU PUT ME THROUGH A WHOLE DAMN EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOATER (shoutout Vivian Green)"

I thanked God up above for his guidance, and sat on that damn train praying that I would make it to my flight on time. I knew that once this train stopped, I needed to not sprint, but literally hit a Usain Bolt to my gate. The train stopped, and I hit that bolt y'all, I was out. Me and little blue (my suitcase, in case you don't remember) were weaving through all sorts of people. Making it through an airport in a rush should be an Olympic sport-I'd win gold every time. Try me

I made it all the way to security, took my jacket, shoes, and laptop out with the quickness! I was in first place in my Olympic mind game. Made it through and low and behold, who's bag gets "randomly checked"? Haha, you guessed it! ME! I'm look up at the sky (ceiling) and audibly say "Yo, G... is this a joke?" People look at me and I don't care

I wait for a TSA agent to come and check my bag out. I promise I'm not smuggling drugs or dates this time. (Check this post out about my smuggling adventures) I'm waiting...and waiting...and waiting. The TSA agent finally arrives, after about 10 minutes (but remember that time is of the essence here, I have a plane to catch!). There are about 2 bags in front of me, and I look at this man with desperation in my eyes and say "Sir, I am about to miss my flight, can you please check my bag first? It's the little blue one." He turns around, looks at my bag and dryly says, "No. Sorry." 

"NIGGGGG....wooosahhh" I sat on the bench, waiting for him to reach my bag fuming. I'm surprised people couldn't see steam coming from the top of my head. I'm brown, but I'm sure that my skin turned red in that moment. I sat patiently, waiting for this man to rummage through my bag. I wanted to reach in and throw tampons at him to make him uncomfortable, but I didn't. I sat there, seemingly calm, and waited for him to pull out my tube of toothpaste. 

He threw the toothpaste away and left me with a rummaged little blue to put back together. I didn't have time to worry about that man. I put little blue back together and booked it to my gate. I was yet again in the Airport Olympics. Dodging, weaving, and possibly pushing people out of the way. Passengers were boarding, and I had little to no time to make it. I'm talking to God like "G..please, PLEASE, I need to get out of New know I'll die here....PLEASE".

I finally made it to my gate, sweating, out of breath, tears on the verge of breaking the barrier, only to find that MY FLIGHT HAS BEEN DELAYED. So I ran, pushed, stomped and shoved for no reason. "I mean...this wasn't what I had in mind, but thanks G." Life is funny.

When I boarded that flight, I made a promise to myself...I WILL NEVER GO BACK TO THAT RAT INFESTED, BAD-LUCK CONJURING, DISRESPECTFUL-ASS CITY! I made it back to North Carolina in one piece (barely), and cried in rejoice for making it back to this simpleton-ass place. Thanks G!

Long story short, y'all can have New York and all of its mess. I don't want it. I don't want anything to do with it. I will chase my dreams from the comfort of my simpleton home. Thanks!

What city are you never going back to? Tell me about your story in the comments below!


Happy Wandering............except to NY.......