Many of you have kept up with my adventures, but when I ask about your adventures, one too many people have exclaimed that they don’t have a passport yet. When I inquire as to why, they usually say the same thing: “I don’t know how to do all that”, “It just seems like such a long process”, or my personal favorite “Aint nobody got time fo dat”. Well listen up sweetheart, you better make time if you’re considering traveling the world.
So, since y’all all lazy as hell, and need me to do everything for you, and refuse to google “passport”, I’ve arrived with some Primetime, Grade A, Valedictorian-level advice. Ok, it’s really simple as hell, but bear with me as I break down the 3 step process. Yall stay trying to make simple things beyond difficult.
STEP 1: Get An Application
You gotta start somewhere, so why not start with grabbing an application. Don’t know where to find one? Don’t worry, I’ve linked it for you here. I know if you scroll through, you’ll see that there are 6 pages filled with text...daunting. Have no fear, Wad is here! I’ll explain everything to you in a second, and it’ll only take a paragraph or so. Click that link and print it out. Once you do that, you’re almost halfway done with getting your passport! Was that so hard?
STEP 2: Fill It Out
Alright, so you’ve printed it out! I’m so proud of you! Now check out the last two pages and fill that out with your information. I don’t know what your social security or address are so I unfortunately can not do that work for you. This is something you’re going to have to do yourself. You can do it sweetheart, I promise it’s not hard. As you’re filling the application out you’ll see a place where there is a stick figure head. Your picture goes here. No, do not draw a self-portrait here. Go to a CVS, Walgreens, or maybe a Wal-Mart and get a passport picture taken. This should only cost about $10-$15.
To complete this application you’ll also need proof of U.S. citizenship (read: copy of front and back of birth certificate); proof of identity (read: copy of front and back of driver's license); and lastly a fee. You thought it was free? HA! Think again, this is the government we’re talking about. Go ahead and click here to see how much money you’ll need to cough up. Remember that you can only pay via check or money order. Do not...I repeat DO NOT consider cash or a credit/debit card. You will be turned away, denied, exiled, all of the above. Ok, not exiled, but you catch my drift.
STEP 3: Find A Post Office
At this point you’ve completed the application, gotten a copy of your birth certificate and driver’s license, gotten your passport picture taken, and your check or money order together. All that is left is to go to a post office to turn in the application. There are certain offices that have passport services, and some even require appointments. I was able to find many with walk-in availability in my location. Not sure how to find out which post office near you has these services? Click here. Go with you full application and turn in your documents. You’ll be asked to sign verifying you are the applicant.
Sign that bish and then DIP! You OUT! YOU DONE!
I don’t want to hear any more of you complain about not having a passport. These are step by step instructions. It is easy. It is simple. I have made your life a breeze. Quit your whining. Cough up that $110 (if it’s your first passport and you don’t want it expedited) and call it a day. You literally pay this much to get your hair done. You pay twice this much to purchase shoes. Get yo life and your priorities in order. #thatisall
**NOTE: This info is primarily for those getting AMERICAN (U.S.A.) passports