Let me tell you about the worst layover of my life. 13 hours in Frankfurt, Germany with a dead phone, no computer, and 12 hours and 59 minutes and counting.
On literally every other flight that I had, if the layover was too long then the airline would provide a hotel. This was my first time flying Lufthansa, and when I requested a hotel, all I got were rude stares with blank faces. Needless to say, I was stuck.
So for anyone who gets stuck out there in this cold, Lufthansa-don't-give-a-crap world, here is my ode to you.
Top 10 things for your excruciatingly long layover (12 hours and 45 minutes and counting)
10. Sit on the floor of the little book shop and read as much as your heart desires, so as not to spend an egregious amount on a book you won't finish till you return home, where you can just buy it on Amazon for a mere $0.51
9. Flirt with that cute bartender to get free drinks at one of the many pubs
8. Sit at any gate other than your own and speak to strangers. Don't worry, everyone has gone through security check...they're not going to kill you
7. Watch a movie! That guy won't mind you creepily staring over his shoulder because he knows the struggles of not wanting to lug around a laptop/tablet that you'll barely touch once you reach your destination
6. Try to find a combination of three chairs with no armrest so that you can take the worst nap of your life
5. Flirt with that cute boy to get free food
4. If the cute boy turns you down, flirt with anyone for free food. We can't have you out there starving.
3. Keep water bottles handy, so when you see people running to their gates you can run behind them as their unofficial cheerleader. If they make it to their plane, yell out, "you go champ" and smack their butt as you hand them the water you just ran with. If they've missed their flight, tell them very soothingly, "you'll get em next time bud". Continue on to smack their butt (for shits and giggles) and hand them the water bottle you just ran with.
2. Race people on that escalator thingy that's not really an escalator, but just makes you walk faster (escalators move upwards, this thing just moves forwards)
1. Pretend to be a bathroom attendant to get some tips. How else will you afford ANYTHING in the airport?
Take THAT Lufthansa. HMPH! I didn't need your stinking hotel anyways (but seriously, it would have helped). Hope this guide keeps you sane on your next unexpectedly grueling layover! (10 hours and counting...)